Showing posts with label families. Show all posts
Showing posts with label families. Show all posts
Monday, November 13, 2017
Sunday, February 5, 2017
Talking to Adopted Children About Birth Parents and Families of Origin: How to Answer the “Hard Questions” by Rhonda Jarema, MA
Source: http://www.adoptioncouncil.org/
By Rhonda Jarema
Over
the years, I’ve had a number of parents question me about what they
should say to their child when that child asks about his or her
biological parents. Adoptive families may have been provided with
varying amounts of information, from an extensive background that
includes APGAR scores to just a birthdate. Sometimes there is a vague
family history, or the child might even have some memories of their
birth family if placed as an older child. Most families have something
in between: usually a very basic history of parental death, abandonment,
voluntary placement, or removal from parental care. This leaves a hole
that is often difficult for both child and parents, as they attempt to
fill in the blanks from the past.
It is the responsibility of adoption professionals to try to guide the parents in this area. Adoptive parents often expect that professionals have some hidden store of information that was not provided with the referral, or that the information expanded while in the file and will provide the magical answers to their child’s questions. Sometimes parents become anxious when they receive questions from their child about their past prior to adoption. It is important for parents to give information appropriate to the child’s level of development; offering all the specifics at a young age may increase anxiety for all involved.
Just as it is important to share the information the parent has on the child’s family, so it is important not to fill in blanks when the answer really isn’t known. Sometimes the adoptive parent may not have any information, and the answer might be “I’m sorry, but I don’t know.” Another option would be to ask the child, “What do you think?” As a parent, these are not always easy discussions, but they are important to have.
Continue reading.
By Rhonda Jarema
Introduction
Over
the years, I’ve had a number of parents question me about what they
should say to their child when that child asks about his or her
biological parents. Adoptive families may have been provided with
varying amounts of information, from an extensive background that
includes APGAR scores to just a birthdate. Sometimes there is a vague
family history, or the child might even have some memories of their
birth family if placed as an older child. Most families have something
in between: usually a very basic history of parental death, abandonment,
voluntary placement, or removal from parental care. This leaves a hole
that is often difficult for both child and parents, as they attempt to
fill in the blanks from the past.It is the responsibility of adoption professionals to try to guide the parents in this area. Adoptive parents often expect that professionals have some hidden store of information that was not provided with the referral, or that the information expanded while in the file and will provide the magical answers to their child’s questions. Sometimes parents become anxious when they receive questions from their child about their past prior to adoption. It is important for parents to give information appropriate to the child’s level of development; offering all the specifics at a young age may increase anxiety for all involved.
Just as it is important to share the information the parent has on the child’s family, so it is important not to fill in blanks when the answer really isn’t known. Sometimes the adoptive parent may not have any information, and the answer might be “I’m sorry, but I don’t know.” Another option would be to ask the child, “What do you think?” As a parent, these are not always easy discussions, but they are important to have.
Continue reading.
Monday, February 29, 2016
Talking to Adopted Children About Birth Parents and Families of Origin: How to Answer the Hard Questions
By: Rhonda Jarema
Over the years, I’ve had a number of parents question me about what they should say to their child when that child asks about his or her biological parents. Adoptive families may have been provided with varying amounts of information, from an extensive background that includes APGAR scores to just a birthdate. Sometimes there is a vague family history, or the child might even have some memories of their birth family if placed as an older child. Most families have something in between: usually a very basic history of parental death, abandonment, voluntary placement, or removal from parental care. This leaves a hole that is often difficult for both child and parents, as they attempt to fill in the blanks from the past.
It is the responsibility of adoption professionals to try to guide the parents in this area. Adoptive parents often expect that professionals have some hidden store of information that was not provided with the referral, or that the information expanded while in the file and will provide the magical answers to their child’s questions. Sometimes parents become anxious when they receive questions from their child about their past prior to adoption. It is important for parents to give information appropriate to the child’s level of development; offering all the specifics at a young age may increase anxiety for all involved.
Just as it is important to share the information the parent has on the child’s family, so it is important not to fill in blanks when the answer really isn’t known. Sometimes the adoptive parent may not have any information, and the answer might be “I’m sorry, but I don’t know.” Another option would be to ask the child, “What do you think?” As a parent, these are not always easy discussions, but they are important to have.
Continue Reading.
Over the years, I’ve had a number of parents question me about what they should say to their child when that child asks about his or her biological parents. Adoptive families may have been provided with varying amounts of information, from an extensive background that includes APGAR scores to just a birthdate. Sometimes there is a vague family history, or the child might even have some memories of their birth family if placed as an older child. Most families have something in between: usually a very basic history of parental death, abandonment, voluntary placement, or removal from parental care. This leaves a hole that is often difficult for both child and parents, as they attempt to fill in the blanks from the past.
It is the responsibility of adoption professionals to try to guide the parents in this area. Adoptive parents often expect that professionals have some hidden store of information that was not provided with the referral, or that the information expanded while in the file and will provide the magical answers to their child’s questions. Sometimes parents become anxious when they receive questions from their child about their past prior to adoption. It is important for parents to give information appropriate to the child’s level of development; offering all the specifics at a young age may increase anxiety for all involved.
Just as it is important to share the information the parent has on the child’s family, so it is important not to fill in blanks when the answer really isn’t known. Sometimes the adoptive parent may not have any information, and the answer might be “I’m sorry, but I don’t know.” Another option would be to ask the child, “What do you think?” As a parent, these are not always easy discussions, but they are important to have.
Continue Reading.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Help Needed: Open Adoption Survey
As many of you know, we are in the process of creating a new course for prospective adoptive families considering open adoption. We have been fortunate to have talked with many adoptive parents, birth mothers and adoption professionals, but have not found many adult adoptees.
We feel it is crucial for adoptees' voices to be heard in this course! To that end, we've created a brief online survey to be completed by adult adoptees (age 18 and up. The survey focuses on exactly what sort of contact/visits were had with various members of the birth family (in open adoptions), the benefits, the challenges and what they would say to families who are in the early years or just thinking about an open adoption.
We are asking for your help in reaching these folks by distributing the following link to the survey: http://app.fluidsurveys.com/s/openadopt/
Aside from sending the link to previous clients you've worked with, we'd like to ask you to send the link to your current families (as they may have friends or relatives with grown children who were adopted), place the link on your website and in your social media feeds such as Facebook and the like.
We appreciate your help and look forward to sharing the results and the new course with you and your families!
Mary Michele Hawkins
Heart of the Matter
816-246-1100
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Hopscotch Adoptions Inc Announces Partnership with Armenia's NGO "Renaissance of Children"
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