Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Armenian baby becomes seventh casualty of killing spree blamed on Russian soldier

Source: http://news.yahoo.com

2015-01-19T160903Z_1007000001_LYNXMPEB0I0N0_RTROPTP_2_CNEWS-US-ARMENIA-RUSSIA MOSCOW (Reuters) - A six-month-old boy became the seventh member of an Armenian family on Monday to die after a killing spree blamed on a Russian soldier that has strained ties between Moscow and Yerevan.

Armenian law enforcement officials say the soldier, Valery Permyakov, who is serving at a Russian military base in the tiny Caucasus nation, is their main suspect after military uniform boots with his name on them were found at the site where six members of the Avetisyan family were killed last week.

Read more.

Sunday, January 11, 2015

A Hard And Lonely Road, Not To Be Forgotten.

What an excellent article! It is a hard read.  Very raw and unvarnished.  It is a truth many families live (and survive too!).  We need to hear a balance of the great and really crappy parts of family building.  It's not fairy tale, it's messy and its life in the trenches sometimes.   What are your thoughts? 

Source: http://outofshemind.com/2015/01/dear-adoptive-parents-hard-lonely-road/

Trauma-Kids

Preface: This is not a how-to-parent-older-adopted-kids blog post. This is not a why-kids-of-trauma-inflict-trauma post. This is not even a this-is-what-life-is-like-with-trauma-kids post. This is not a feel-sorry-for-us or toot-our-own-horns post. It’s most definitely not a rainbows and unicorns post. However, I want to stress that—no matter how hard adoption can be or sometimes is, I still believe in it. I’ve got an incredible husband and a slew of kids I call my own who agree. So this is not an anti-adoption post. On the contrary, this is a RALLY CRY for those adoptive parents in the trenches answering the call that others refuse to hear, being judged, shunned, and persecuted for their already very lonely and difficult road. This is a no-holds-barred, bare-it-all solidarity-seeking attempt. This is for you, adoptive parents of trauma kids, because you are most definitely NOT alone.

So I’m sitting here spitting nails. I’ll be honest about that from the get-go. And I’m typing a hundred miles a minute. And probably not going to edit a whole lot. BECAUSE ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. There is not a week that goes by that I do not receive multiple emails, phone calls, Facebook messages, or texts either from someone currently in the trenches or someone who knows someone who is. They’re at their wit’s end. They can’t take much more. They’re lonely. Grieved. And scared. And while I could spend forever trying to explain to those NOT in the trenches what it’s like down in the trenches, I’m not going to waste my time. Because the truth is, as you all know, that unless you have lived it, you will probably never get it. You just won’t. Oh, how we parents of trauma kids wish that weren’t so.

And if you’re reading this because your friend or family member passed it along, now’s your chance to erase your presumptions and shred your judgments and just take a listen and try to understand.

But if you’re reading this and already nodding, I’m trusting that you already get it. That you know what it’s like to step out of your comfortable American Christianity and choose one of the unwanted ones. The older, “broken” kids whom no one else said YES to. You know what it’s like to have that kind of compassion, faith, and willingness, that open heart and open home, that open-to-come-what-may. You know what it’s like to love the unlovable. To say yes to a call from God that no one else wants to hear or acknowledge. To take in a child of trauma. And you know what it’s like to be hated—and all but destroyed—by that child in return.

Read more.

How To Spot An American: Top 13 Way

Guilty as charged when it comes to "talking to strangers with big a white toothy smile".  Do you make the Top 13 List?   

Source: https://www.yahoo.com/travel/how-to-spot-an-american-anywhere-in-the-world-107126497152.html?hp=1

By Leah Ginsberg

fcc2f4f2cde35a6c26ea9f1fe98e66df30d580ca For better or for worse, we Americans have some very unique habits. Baseball caps and fanny packs aren’t the only giveaways. So Yahoo Travel found out what foreigners think are our top tells. Here are 13 ways to spot an American anywhere in the world.

1. We’re the only ones wearing white athletic socks.

For real. Others around the world mostly wear darker-colored socks. In fact, according to Olivier Magny (French author of Stuff Parisians Like) in Paris, people actually find white socks offensive.

2. We have superwhite, supernice teeth

Un-naturally white, perfectly straight-toothed smiles have “U.S.A.” written all over them. Ricky Gervais, the English comic known for his notoriously bad imperfect teeth (before he became famous in American and whitened them) even says so: “Americans, they are obsessed with perfect teeth.” Whereas others, like the Brits, are more comfortable having teeth with “character.” Flossing also isn’t a thing in the rest of the world like it is here.

Read more.

Friday, January 9, 2015

Trauma Doesn't Tell Time

Source: https://gobbelcounseling.wordpress.com/2013/06/13/trauma-doesnt-tell-time

061313_1226_traumadoesn1 Many frustrated parents regretfully feel as though all of the years that their child has spent in their safe, loving home has not made much of a positive impact on the child. This can leave parents feeling bewildered and incompetent. When I talk with parents about how their child’s behaviors are being driven by their earliest life experiences, many are overwhelmed by that idea that everything they have done to provide a safe and loving family has not helped their child let go of those earliest traumas. Despite years of “safe mom” behaviors, the child’s brain still believes “moms aren’t safe” or “moms leave.” Despite years of never going hungry, a full pantry, and never being told “no” to food, the child’s brain still believes “I’ll never get food again” or “Hungry = Starving”. Parents start to feel hopeless and helpless. When will the child FINALLY believe they are safe? Not going to go hungry? Parents feel justifiably skeptical when I attempt to convince them that their 9 year-old child’s meltdown over being told “no” to a snack right before dinner triggers the part in their brain that believes “I’ll never get food again.” How can this be possibly true when the child has not gone without food for seven years AND mom is in the middle of cooking dinner- an obvious sign that food will be plentifully available very shortly.

Traumatic experiences, even the earliest and preverbal traumatic experiences, remain stored in our children’s brains. The normal information processing system that stores memories in the appropriate places in our brain is thwarted by the cascade of hormones and neurochemicals that are released during a traumatic or frightening experience. The memory- along with the images, feelings, and body sensations, remain literally frozen in their nervous system.

Read more.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Join Beth Hall for a Transracial Adoption Webinar on 1/13/15

Register now for a FREE Expert Q&A Webinar

Register for a webinar with adoption abd assisted reproduction attorney Peter J. WiernickiTransracial Adoption

with Beth Hall
January 13, 2015 @ 1 pm EST

How can you and your family prepare to become parents and relatives to a child of a different race? How do you talk about race and adoption as your child grows? How do you talk about racism and your child's safety in a world that will see and make presumptions based on his or her skin color? If you adopted internationally, how do you balance and integrate birth culture exploration with discussion about your child’s everyday life as a hyphenated American? Beth Hall, co-author of Inside Transracial Adoption and founder of Pact, An Adoption Alliance, leads a discussion about parenting a child adopted transracially. Join us to ask your questions!

The Expert Q&A Webinar with Beth Hall: Transracial Adoption will take place on Tuesday, January 13, 2015 from 1pm to 2pm ET (12pm-1pm CT; 11am-12pm MT; 10am-11am PT).

Register for the Expert Q&A Webinar: The Hospital Experience in /surrogacy and Domestic Adoption

Don't want to forget your question? Submit it in advance by posting a comment.
Can't attend the webinar? We'll post a recording here after the session.
Recordings are available FREE to Adoptive Families members. Non-members may purchase individual recordings, or join the site for full access and members' benefits.

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Traveling Abroad and the Child With Special Needs: Do The Right Thing

Read more: https://www.yahoo.com/travel/unitedwithivy-mom-was-so-wrong-107267702627.html

By Hallie Levine

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Levine and her adorable daughter, Jo Jo, who's 6. (Hallie Levine)

As a mom of three kids, two of whom have special needs (one has Down Syndrome and one is legally blind), I’m well aware that vacation traveling with small children — especially those with disabilities — is no walk in the park. But the attention mongering schemes of Elit Kirschenbaum, who took to Twitter last week lambasting a United Airways flight attendant for refusing to allow her to hold her disabled three year old daughter on her lap during take off, make me want to puke.

“She told us that we had to make her sit. And I said to her, ‘I would give my left arm to make her sit, of course I want to have her sit but she just can’t do it,” Kirschenbaum recently told CBS news. 

Read more.

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Merry Christmas!!

Source: http://wanderlustandlipstick.com/blogs/pamperspakhlava/2015/01/05/armenian-christmas/

By Beth Shepherd

Armenian-costume To my friends here in the U.S., and overseas, who celebrate Armenian Christmas on January 6: Շնորհավոր Ամանոր և Սուրբ Ծնունդ (Shnorhavor Amanor yev Surb Tznund).

Whether you celebrate holidays the Armenian way or with your own cultural and seasonal flair:

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from Pampers and Pakhlava

Take the road less traveled,

Beth