Blaming The Parents Of Children With Special Needs

Source: www.huffingtonpost.com

By Shawna Wingert, Contributor

Since the day my first baby was born, I have felt responsible for my children’s differences.

Not responsible in the “I’m the momma so I need to help my child” kinda way (although I certainly feel that too).

Responsible in the “Why do you let him sleep with you instead of in the crib, eat the ice cream instead of the meat, allow him to make the mess, help him in the bathroom when he is almost ten” kinda way.

I have been blamed, at one point or another, for every single one of my boys’ differences. Moreover, as we have received diagnosis after diagnosis, I find the blame comes even more frequently now ― not less.

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Somewhere A Child is Waiting for You!

Hopscotch + Arbonne + You = Support for Waiting Child Adoptions!

ARBONNE Is Supporting Hopscotch Adoptions' Special Needs Grant Fund

For a limited time, Sandie Buscarino, a former Hopscotch Adoptions client, is sponsoring a fundraiser to benefit Hopscotch Adoptions Special Needs Grants.   These grants help offset expenses related to the adoption of children with non-correctable needs.   Sandie is an adoptive parent of an Armenian angel (ok, he's a little boy so only 90% angel!) who had a correctable special need (cleft lip/palate).  Sandie understands the emotional and financial obstacles adoptive parents face when considering adopting a child with special needs.  These children often become Waiting Children and Hopscotch is devoted to doing all they can to assist parents in finding them their forever families.  

Sandie shared "As a way of thanking them for helping us navigate a long and winding journey to complete our family, Sandie has pledged to donate 75% of the proceeds of Arbonne sales placed through 9/30/15 to Hopscotch Adoptions' Special Needs Grants."

If you are not familiar with Arbonne, Sandie would like you to know "Arbonne is a botanically based, environmentally friendly products line of skincare, makeup and nutrition, to nurture your body inside and out.  Arbonne products are formulated to be highly effective, without harmful chemicals or artificial ingredients."

Taking care of yourself, helps waiting children into permanent families that otherwise would not have a family.

Sincerely,
Robin E. Sizemore, Executive Director
Hopscotch Adoptions, Inc

Sandie Buscarino
Arbonne Independent Consultant, ID: 14586263
Cell (631) 816-5813

Visit sandiebuscarino.arbonne.com to see what Arbonne is all about.  Be sure to check out her holiday items that are only available while supplies last.  She can provide samples of some products if you request, and answer any questions you may have.  You also have the opportunity to join as a preferred client of Sandie and save 20% off all products for one year! Just include "HS" after your last name so that the Hopscotch Adoptions gets the credit.

Offer Expires: September 30, 2015

Why You Should Not Welcome My Child With Special Needs Into Your Church

I realize this may be one of the most controversial posts I have ever written. It has taken me months of writing, stopping, coming back, re-writing and I’m still not positive it’s perfect. But it is my heart. Every fiber of my being burns with passion over this topic. I want to share with you why you should NOT welcome my special needs child to your church.

I write this from what I believe is a unique perspective.  You see, I have worked in ministry for over ten years now. I have been on staff as a youth pastor and a children’s pastor. I have helped to develop a special needs program within a church setting. I have also been a teacher for five years collectively. I have taught classrooms full of children from all kinds of backgrounds, strengths, and weaknesses. Most importantly, I am a mother to two beautiful children, one of whom has Autism. That’s right, I am the parent of a special needs child.  So why on earth would someone with my background write a blog like this? Allow me to share my heart with you.  These are the reasons I believe you should NOT welcome my special needs child to your church.

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Anything You Can Do.... I Can Too!

See video.

Here's To Leo and His Dad. Changing The World For The Better!

Source: http://abcnews.go.com

By Nicole Pelletiere

When Samuel Forrest of Armenia heard a baby crying from outside his wife's hospital room, he knew his life would change forever.

Not only had he become a father, but he would soon receive some unexpected news about his newborn son.

"This pediatrician walks out of the room with a little bundle -- that was Leo," Forrest said. "She had his face covered up and hospital authorities wouldn't let me see him or my wife. When the doctor came out, he said 'there’s a real problem with your son.'

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As Long As It's Healthy.... But What If It's Not?

Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com

By Sarah Watts

Six months into our pregnancy with Henry, after our bombshell diagnosis of spina bifida, Lou and I would make regular treks up to Park Ridge to see our Maternal-Fetal Medicine specialist, who kept us abreast on how the baby was doing in utero. Since I'm ridiculously extroverted and I adore small talk, I started chatting up the receptionist as we were filling out some paperwork, post-appointment (Lou, his usual introvert self, was probably silently willing me to stop talking). At this point, we had already been told by two separate doctors that Henry would be totally paralyzed from the waist down.

We started talking about her kids -- three girls! -- and I asked her if she preferred girls, or if she might try for a boy. We both quickly agreed that the baby's sex wasn't really that important -- boy or girl, they were blessings.

"Oh, I like girls, but it doesn't matter to me!" she exclaimed. "You know, as long as they're healthy and running around!"

Read more.

Traveling Abroad and the Child With Special Needs: Do The Right Thing

Read more: https://www.yahoo.com/travel/unitedwithivy-mom-was-so-wrong-107267702627.html

By Hallie Levine

 
Levine and her adorable daughter, Jo Jo, who's 6. (Hallie Levine)

As a mom of three kids, two of whom have special needs (one has Down Syndrome and one is legally blind), I’m well aware that vacation traveling with small children — especially those with disabilities — is no walk in the park. But the attention mongering schemes of Elit Kirschenbaum, who took to Twitter last week lambasting a United Airways flight attendant for refusing to allow her to hold her disabled three year old daughter on her lap during take off, make me want to puke.

“She told us that we had to make her sit. And I said to her, ‘I would give my left arm to make her sit, of course I want to have her sit but she just can’t do it,” Kirschenbaum recently told CBS news. 

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Your Hopscotch Adoptions Team: Serving All Children, All Families, All Faiths.

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I Don't Expect You To Understand Why I Parent The Way I Do

Source: http://goo.gl/qsWzjb

Being the parent of children with special needs, our style and means of parenting are quite different than most parents. There are big reasons why we do the things we do, expect the things we expect, and redirect the way we redirect:

My son’s coach meant well. He really did. His fatherly instincts told him to comfort my son and try to remedy the situation by loaning him his gloves. The temperatures at game time were a brisk 30 degrees. The sun was up, but slow to melt the frost that fell in the early morning hours when it was the coldest. My son stood on the sideline shivering, crying, snot running down his upper lip, and looking as if he were close to death.

I stood on the opposite sideline, glaring at him as he played up his sob story, feeling no sympathy.

In fact, through the fumes that clearly radiated from my face I reflected back on the night before, when I was digging out knit caps and gloves in preparation for his game. Because I’m a college-educated person I paid attention to the evening weather report (which a kindergartener could do). I listened when the reporter said, matter-of-factly, that the next morning would be below normal. He even went as far as to say, “If your son or daughter is playing soccer, football or fall baseball, you will want to dress them warm!” Imagine that!

Read more.

Moms To Kids With Special Needs

I am Strong....Do I have a Choice? 

By Kavita Varma-White

Source: http://www.today.com/moms/i-am-strong-do-i-have-choice-moms-special-needs-2D11919172

For moms with special needs kids, the task of “doing it all” is an even more daunting one.

In addition to the normal stresses of parenting, they bear the emotional and often financial strain of being an advocate for a child who needs more. And many of the hundreds of women who wrote to Maria Shriver and TODAY say it’s the most exhausting challenge of all. 

This week, Shriver and TODAY are highlighting women's stories and their financial struggles in a series called #DoingItAll, culminating in a "help-a-thon" on TODAY Wednesday; in the meantime, TODAY Moms is asking moms to help each other with some of the most common challenges women face as they try to take care of everyone and everything in their lives.

Cindy Findling’s husband died, leaving her and her two children, one of whom has autism. Findling says that like others in her position, she struggles to find enough time and get enough help.

Read more.

Study Volunteers Needed: Bonding of Mothers to Children With Special Needs

School of Psychology, Fielding Graduate University

Volunteers Needed For Research Study About How Adoptive Mothers Create Their Emotional Bond With Their Child Who Has Special Health Care Needs.

I am a doctoral student at Fielding Graduate University and am seeking volunteers to participate in my research study:

• Mothers need to be 25 years of age and older, in an intact heterosexual marriage, with an adopted child with special health care needs who is between 3 and 8 years of age and who will have lived in the adoptive home at least one year.
• Special health care needs: Developmental disabilities (such as cerebral palsy, spina bifida, Down syndrome, Fragile X syndrome, and Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder) and/or chronic health conditions (such as congenital heart disease, cancer, diabetes, and asthma).
• The study cannot include, unfortunately, adoptive mothers of children diagnosed with autism spectrum disorders or reactive attachment disorder.

The time commitment would be approximately ninety minutes and the meeting would be arranged at the convenience of the participant. The volunteer’s confidentiality will be assured. The principal researcher of this study is April Fallon, Ph.D., Fielding Graduate University.

This research study has been reviewed and approved by the Fielding Graduate University Institutional Review Board. If you have any questions about the Fielding Institutional Review Board or Research Ethics review at Fielding, please contact Mike Meraz, Administrator, Institutional Review Board of Fielding Graduate University: mmeraz@fielding.edu or (805) 898-4033.

Interested mothers can contact Ileana Lindstrom, MA:

(410) 810-3916 or (410) 699-1161, or slindstrom@email.fielding.edu

Your donation can change a life.

Time is running out...

Meet "Reese"

Reese has an irresistible smile and piercing blue eyes. Reese has been diagnosed with strabismus, Spina bifida and hydrocephaly, and received a shunt shortly after birth.  He enjoys books, blocks and singing songs. He is able to feed himself finger foods, such as bread and cookies. His caretakers say he is extremely smart and has an extensive vocabulary for his age. Currently he is completely immobile, but would really like to use a wheelchair like many of his friends.

Reese has been waiting for a family since 2007.

 

 

 

You can help.      

We still have a ways to go to reach our goal of $5,000 for our Waiting Child & Special Needs Grant Fund and less than two weeks left to do it.  Your donation is tax deductible and goes toward families adopting the most vulnerable of the children we advocate for.  

Help kids like Reese find their forever family.

To donate, go to:

https://donatenow.networkforgood.org/hopscotchadoptions?code=donate-page

 

Waiting Child & Special Needs Program

Hopscotch is dedicated to finding permanent and loving homes for children with special needs from Armenia, Bulgaria, Georgia, Ghana, and Morocco.

Learn More...

 

 

 

 

 

HELP US HELP THEM!

The Waiting Child & Special Needs Grant Fund allows Hopscotch to financially aid families pursuing the adoption of children with special needs.

We can't do it without your support!

Donate Now...

This Holiday Season, Take the Time to Make a Difference

Take the time...

For a waiting child, a moment is everything.  A moment can make a difference between a hug and a bruise.  A moment can make a difference between a warm meal and starvation.  A moment can make a difference between a home or...

Children without permanent families are at the highest risk for abuse, neglect, and trafficking. The most vulnerable are those with special needs.  Those who are left hanging on a moment.

They need not wait a moment longer.  Right now, families want to bring the most vulnerable of these children into their lives.  They need your help to do so.

Our goal is to reach $5,000 by the end of the year in order to help 10 more children find their forever family and to make their moment of opportunity last a lifetime.

So, do you have a moment?

Waiting Child & Special Needs Program

Hopscotch is dedicated to finding permanent and loving homes for children with special needs from Armenia, Bulgaria, Georgia, Ghana, and Morocco.

Learn More...

 

 

 

 

Waiting Child & Special Need Grant Fund

The Waiting Child & Special Needs Grant Fund allows Hopscotch to financially aid families pursuing the adoption of children with special needs.  To date, over 80 children have benefited from special needs grants.                                 
Donate Now...

Realistic Expectations The First Year Home

Congratulations! Welcome to the journey of being an adoptive parent. As you get to know your child, you will realize what you don’t know! But not to worry, you aren’t alone. Take time to learn the skills to parent YOUR child. Connect with others who have similar experiences. Make time for yourself. The following articles were complied as a great starting point for your education as a new adoptive parent

• A Different Perspective By Cynthia Hockman-Chupp
• Strategies for Building Attachment By Karleen Gribble, BRurSc, PhD,
• Top Ten Tips for Successful First Year Parenting By Deborah Gray, MSW, MPA
• Why Grandma Can’t Pick Up the Baby By Sheena Macrae and Karleen Gribble
• What is This Thing You Call Sleep? By Dr Julian Davies, MD
• Transitional Feeding Difficulties By Dr Julian Davies, MD
• Alone No More...Recognizing Post Adoption Depression By Heatherly Bucher
• Adding The Oldest By Terra Trevor
• Creating a Fit By Carrie Kitze
• “When Do You Tell a Child he was Adopted?” And Other Secrets We Shouldn’t Keep By Adam Pertman
• Unexpected Special Needs By Nancy Hemenway
• Positive Outcome: How Can You Combat the Effects of an Orphanage  By Mary Beth Williams, PhD, LCSW, CTS
• The Impact of Trauma on the Adopted Child By B. Bryan Post
• Ten Keys to Healing Trauma in the Adopted Child By B. Bryan Post
• How to Find a Therapist Experienced in Attachment and/or Trauma tips from the Attachment & Trauma Network
• Sensory Integration And the Internationally Adopted Child By Barbara Elleman, MHS, OTR/L, BCP
• Facts About Parenting a Child with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder By Teressa Kellerman
• How to Avoid the Syndrome of Parent Burn-Out by Harriet McCarthy
• Being an Ally to Families Raising Children with Challenges By Ellin Frank
• Help Your Child Ward Off a Mad Attack by Lynne Namke, EdD
• Being with Your Child in Public Places by Patty Wipfler
• Strategies to Deal with Anger and Power Struggles By Christopher J. Alexander, PhD
• When Adoptions Fail By Kim Phagan-Hansel

Read more (PDF)

New Webinar: Building Bonds of Attachment

Building Bonds of Attachment: Practical, Expert Advice

Tuesday, March 12, 2013 -  7:00PM-8:00PM  Central Time -  Q&A: 8:00PM  

Secure parent-child attachments are essential for children. Often, adoption can pose challenges to the attachment process. Circumstances prior to adoption, either in utero, in an orphanage or in foster care, can create serious barriers to attachment.

Join us for a webinar with Deborah Gray, an adoption therapist specializing in attachment, grief and trauma issues in children.  Deborah will provide practical steps that move parents toward secure attachments with their child.

• Recognize behaviors that are common in adopted children who have experienced trauma
• Learn bonding activities that result in healthy relationships in the short term and throughout childhood
• Maintain relationships with children already in the home

REGISTER

Last Chance To Register! Expectations vs.Realities: Parenting an adopted child with special needs

Thursday, January 17, 2013  - 7:00PM - 8:00PM Central Time - Q&A: 8:00PM   


Is your child emotionally acting much younger than their age? Have special needs you weren't expecting? Behaviors that resemble ADHD?

You are not alone. These challenges are common for post- institutionalized children. Finding help, however, can be difficult.

Join us for a webinar featuring Martha Osborne, adopted person, adoptive mom and founder of the largest special needs adoption advocacy website, RainbowKids.com. Martha will lead an "in the trenches" discussion on how parents can get connected and supported.

• Learn how to build a plan to manage undiagnosed special needs
• Consider new, outside the box suggestions on how to address unexpected cognitive and emotional delays

Understand how proactive parenting can help!

REGISTER

News From Armenia

Successful registration of a beautiful little girl with special needs today!!!  We could not be happier for this child.  Is your family considering a child with special needs?  Contact info@hopscotchadoptions.org if you are.

The Waiting Child Video

Every child on this Earth deserves to grow up in a loving family.  Those of us who have adopted children from institutions, orphanages, or other less than ideal places to grow up, understand how true this is: A family makes all of the difference in the life of a child.

Every one of us who has adopted a child older than infancy, or one who may have been labeled "special needs", has adopted a Waiting Child.  A child who would have grow up unloved, without real hope for a future, without the basics of human connection. 

When I think of all of the children who still wait in institutions, I can’t help but think, "But for the grace of God, there my children could also be growing up."  We have 5 children adopted at different ages, from various orphanages and backgrounds.  Two happened to have been listed on RainbowKids, but ALL were waiting children.  No one was tucking them in at night, greeting them with kisses in the morning, celebrating their very existence in the world.  

I’m going to ask you today to be part of a miracle. I’ve seen enough miracles happen in this work for children to know that they aren’t often accompanied by booming voices from on-high. Most of the time Miracles happen when people (mostly moms) come together for a common goal, and despite all obstacles, make that goal happen, help that child get adopted, promote that special cause, run that race, pray that prayer: Get involved and make a difference. It makes no difference whether or not your child was listed on RainbowKids. This project is about demonstrating to people how amazing, "normal", and perfect our children really are. That adopting a child with a special needs label, or children older than infants, is a great option for families.

In just a few short weeks, RainbowKids will be featured in the major media in a very positive way.  Over one million people who may never have been exposed to International adoption will watch a TV show that will highlight our work.  We want to take advantage of this exposure by producing a 3-4 minute video that highlights the joys of adopting Waiting Children.  We need your help.

Over 11,000 children once featured on RainbowKids have found families. Thousands more have been placed through our network of nearly 70 supporting adoption agencies.  All were “waiting children”. Non-infants, some with special needs, others waiting due to age , gender, or other reasons. Help us to get the word out that special needs and waiting children are wonderful!  So many families fear the label “Special Needs” and never look into what that really means.

We need your photos and video clips!  Our video will be divided into 3 parts:

• Part 1: Photos of orphanages, plus very short video clips of children, all ages and races, saying "I was a waiting child".
• Part 2: Explanation of what Special Needs really means, and tons of photos of children who carried this label.
• Part 3: A wrap up, inviting people to Take Another Look at Waiting Children

Use your phone, ipad, camera, etc and either video tape your child saying "I was a waiting child" or just being adorable (15-30 seconds at most, please), OR send a photo of your child.

No names of children or countries will be used. Our video will be used on the website, to advocate for the adoption of waiting children. The idea is simply to get people past their fear of the "Special Needs" label, so that their hearts may be open to adopting a waiting child.

It is incredibly EASY to participate. A link to upload your media will be sent to all who request to join in this project to help children. It is truly a one-button process, exactly like uploading a photo to facebook or saving a document to your computer. Please join us in making a miracle happen for the waiting children. Because once, your child, like mine, was one of them. Email Your Link Request.

Thank you.
Martha Osborne