Showing posts with label waiting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label waiting. Show all posts
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Bumps in the Road: Why Adoption Takes So Long
Worthy and Reposted from Babble.com
By Diana Stone | July 6th, 2012 at 11:09 am
Photo credit Babble.com
I’ve been told many times by parents who have adopted domestically or internationally, “Expect a lot of emotional ups and downs, waiting, and changes.”
Since starting our adoption from Korea almost 2 months ago, I’m just now starting to see what they mean.
Tuesday we got an email from our agency saying they’d received all our paperwork and were sending out background checks for us to sign and send on to Colorado, and attaching ones for California. That was the problem; they requires us to type all the info, then have the agency sign and send it back to California to run the check.
Our agency is 14 hours away. (Texas is so freaking huge.) It takes 2-3 days for the mail to get there unless we pay a crazy amount to speed it up. I decided to get it done and sent that same day.
The real holdup will be on California’s end though. Apparently they take a very long time to run background checks – so we’ll probably end up extending our homestudy time. This would be the same no matter domestic or international – everyone has to do a homestudy.
I was sad to hear this. Already a new law put into effect next month in Korea has slowed things down, and then on top of that Korea would like to end international adoption at some point, so each year less and less children are available. The same number are given up, but because of their desire to end it, the children are older once they come home. I don’t know what will happen to these kids once the program shuts down, but from reading other bloggers who have adopted from Korea recently, the children are left in (well cared for) orphanages until (and if) they are assigned a foster parent.
We are choosing to be open to siblings (twins), special needs, and “regular” special needs. All children from Korea have some kind of special need, just some are more moderate to severe than others that are considered normal neonatal conditions. Because of this, we may indeed get a child quicker, or we may be waiting for a while. It all depends on what child they think is a suitable match for us.
I know there is a plan in all this, but it certainly can be frustrating in an already long process to be told you’re going to be waiting longer. Many adoptive families deal with this, so we can probably expect a lot more of this to come. I can’t imagine how tough these kinds of things will be once you have a child waiting for you. And after reading some of the stories online, this is a small delay in comparison to what happens to some.
So we do our best, the quickest we can, and stay on the path set for us.
Hoping it’s more like the moving floor at the airport where you can walk and pass everyone twice as fast.
Visit with Diana! Diana blogs on raising a toddler daughter, the loss of her twin boys, and their families’ Korean adoption in progress on the aptly named Hormonal Imbalances.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Courage in the Adoption Waiting Game
By Craig Juntunen
huffingtonpost.com | May 1, 2012
"It was probably the closest thing we'll ever have to giving birth."
After months of paperwork, interviews, emails and endless anticipation, the magical moment for Lori LeRoy and her husband Nick had finally arrived. Lori and Nick received arguably the most important piece of mail of their lifetimes. It was an adoption referral on their soon-to-be son, Nate, a Vietnamese boy who was given up by his sick and impoverished mother when he was two days old. They received a photo of Nate and an instant love flowered.
For any parent, the first moment you see your child is indescribable. I will never forget the feeling I had when I saw my three adopted children from Haiti for the first time. I was no longer a man who had no interest in being a father. My place in the world was with these kids, and my role was to love and protect them regardless of what happened.
Today, courage and strength have replaced love and desire as the most important characteristics for people who take on the international adoption process. Unfortunately for many prospective parents, including the LeRoys, the expected 18- to 24-month adoption process has turned into a maddening and unnecessary four or five year ordeal. Every day they wait, their son or daughter loses another critical day of physical and social development.
Despite the best intentions of those committed to international adoption, the debilitating process has taken adoption off the table as an option for orphans worldwide. In situations where children already start a step behind, don't they deserve as many options as possible? We've reached a critical point in time where a national conversation must start about doing better for these kids.
In 2011, more than 9,300 children were adopted from overseas by Americans. That's a steep drop from 2004, when close to 23,000 children were adopted by Americans. That astounding decline over seven years is the result of several factors outside the control of families trying to provide children with a safe, loving home.
A closer look at the nearly four-year process that the LeRoys endured to bring Nate home is instructive. In 2008, the U.S. raised red flags about alleged fraud in Vietnam's adoption process. Alarmed, and frankly offended, by these largely unsubstantiated claims, Vietnam decided to shut down adoptions to the U.S., stalling cases that were already in motion and extending the adoption process for the LeRoys and others. While the politics played out, Nate waited an extra two years in an institution before arriving at his new home in the U.S.
What is more concerning is that we've seen similar situations play out with other countries, including Cambodia and Ethiopia. The U.S. government preaches compliance with the Hague Convention, the international treaty that establishes practice standards for international adoptions, as the magic bullet solution. No one doubts that safeguards and protections in the process are important; however, years pass as countries implement reform measures, leaving children to languish in institutions for that much longer.
We have to wonder if our policies align with acting in the best interests of these children. As a world leader, the U.S. has a vital role to play in ensuring that international standards are being met, but in doing so, we must maintain an open dialogue and take a proactive approach to working with countries to develop the appropriate programs and policies that foster safe, ethical and efficient adoptions. Ultimately, we have to strike a balance of maintaining safeguards, but also ensuring that we're moving forward expeditiously.
We have recently seen the benefits of the U.S. working in partnership with another country to build child welfare capacities. Guatemala, previously known as one of the worst actors in international adoption due to corruption and fraud, has made great strides during the last two years to develop a system that serves its citizens and provides options for children in need. Guatemalan officials have committed to moving forward 300 adoption cases that have been stalled for years. A culture of adoption is also being cultivated at the grassroots level. There is a long way for Guatemala to go, but we're seeing what can happen when two countries make a commitment to doing what's necessary -- and right -- for orphans.
There will always be many highs and lows in the international adoption process. But the staggering decline in international adoptions from the U.S. indicates that something is not working here. We must realize the promise in international adoption, just like the LeRoys and thousands of families across the country have done. The question becomes: why aren't we doing more to make international adoption a less problematic option for children in need of a home and families with room in their hearts?
huffingtonpost.com | May 1, 2012
"It was probably the closest thing we'll ever have to giving birth."
After months of paperwork, interviews, emails and endless anticipation, the magical moment for Lori LeRoy and her husband Nick had finally arrived. Lori and Nick received arguably the most important piece of mail of their lifetimes. It was an adoption referral on their soon-to-be son, Nate, a Vietnamese boy who was given up by his sick and impoverished mother when he was two days old. They received a photo of Nate and an instant love flowered.
For any parent, the first moment you see your child is indescribable. I will never forget the feeling I had when I saw my three adopted children from Haiti for the first time. I was no longer a man who had no interest in being a father. My place in the world was with these kids, and my role was to love and protect them regardless of what happened.
Today, courage and strength have replaced love and desire as the most important characteristics for people who take on the international adoption process. Unfortunately for many prospective parents, including the LeRoys, the expected 18- to 24-month adoption process has turned into a maddening and unnecessary four or five year ordeal. Every day they wait, their son or daughter loses another critical day of physical and social development.
Despite the best intentions of those committed to international adoption, the debilitating process has taken adoption off the table as an option for orphans worldwide. In situations where children already start a step behind, don't they deserve as many options as possible? We've reached a critical point in time where a national conversation must start about doing better for these kids.
In 2011, more than 9,300 children were adopted from overseas by Americans. That's a steep drop from 2004, when close to 23,000 children were adopted by Americans. That astounding decline over seven years is the result of several factors outside the control of families trying to provide children with a safe, loving home.
A closer look at the nearly four-year process that the LeRoys endured to bring Nate home is instructive. In 2008, the U.S. raised red flags about alleged fraud in Vietnam's adoption process. Alarmed, and frankly offended, by these largely unsubstantiated claims, Vietnam decided to shut down adoptions to the U.S., stalling cases that were already in motion and extending the adoption process for the LeRoys and others. While the politics played out, Nate waited an extra two years in an institution before arriving at his new home in the U.S.
What is more concerning is that we've seen similar situations play out with other countries, including Cambodia and Ethiopia. The U.S. government preaches compliance with the Hague Convention, the international treaty that establishes practice standards for international adoptions, as the magic bullet solution. No one doubts that safeguards and protections in the process are important; however, years pass as countries implement reform measures, leaving children to languish in institutions for that much longer.
We have to wonder if our policies align with acting in the best interests of these children. As a world leader, the U.S. has a vital role to play in ensuring that international standards are being met, but in doing so, we must maintain an open dialogue and take a proactive approach to working with countries to develop the appropriate programs and policies that foster safe, ethical and efficient adoptions. Ultimately, we have to strike a balance of maintaining safeguards, but also ensuring that we're moving forward expeditiously.
We have recently seen the benefits of the U.S. working in partnership with another country to build child welfare capacities. Guatemala, previously known as one of the worst actors in international adoption due to corruption and fraud, has made great strides during the last two years to develop a system that serves its citizens and provides options for children in need. Guatemalan officials have committed to moving forward 300 adoption cases that have been stalled for years. A culture of adoption is also being cultivated at the grassroots level. There is a long way for Guatemala to go, but we're seeing what can happen when two countries make a commitment to doing what's necessary -- and right -- for orphans.
There will always be many highs and lows in the international adoption process. But the staggering decline in international adoptions from the U.S. indicates that something is not working here. We must realize the promise in international adoption, just like the LeRoys and thousands of families across the country have done. The question becomes: why aren't we doing more to make international adoption a less problematic option for children in need of a home and families with room in their hearts?
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