NCFA: Will I Love Her?

Love and Attachment in Adoption

By Daniel Nehrbass, PH.D.

When my best friend heard that my wife and I were planning to adopt, he asked, “Do you think you will be able to love your child as much as you would if she were your own?”

Those of us who have adopted know that our adopted children are “our own.” Yet this question posed by my friend revealed a fear that lay within himself, and in the minds of many prospective adoptive parents.

My wife and I met when we were in the eighth grade. We married seven years later, at the age of twenty. We talked about adoption before we were married, but did not envision how large a role it would play in our life together. Three years into our marriage, we received a diagnosis that determined conception would be impossible for us.

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NCFA Releases Adoption Advocate No. 61: The Healing Power of "Giving Voice"

Source: NCFA Releases Adoption Advocate No. 61: The Healing Power of “Giving Voice”

Children coming from situations of trauma, abuse, or neglect often experience the loss of their "voice" -- their ability to voice their needs in a healthy way and trust that they will be met. Interventions for children from the "hard places" must include restoring voice, which in turn encourages trust, healing, and attachment. In the July 2013 issue of NCFA's Adoption Advocate, Drs. Karyn Purvis and David Cross explore what the loss of voice means for children, and how appropriate interventions and therapies can allow them  to give voice to their needs and experience healing within a safe, nurturing family. The article includes a brief list of recommended skills and strategies for parents and caregivers.

Click here to download the PDF of Adoption Advocate No. 61 or click here to view the web version.

Adoption Advocate No. 60, “Preparing Children for the Adoption of a Sibling: Recommendations for Families Considering Intercountry Adoption”

Prospective adoptive parents are not the only ones who need to educate and prepare themselves prior to an adoption -- any children already in the home must have the opportunity to learn more about what it might be like to add a child to the family through adoption. In the June 2013 issue of NCFA's Adoption Advocate, Laura Beauvais-Godwin addresses common questions adoptive parents have about these important discussions, providing general guidelines and suggestions for those considering adoption as a way of adding to their families. Click here to view, print, or download.