Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Winning Over Reluctant Family to Your Adoption Plans


Thanks Dawn Davenport @ Creating A Family

disapproving-old-lady After deciding that adoption is the right choice for building your family, you naturally want everyone to be as excited as you.  Unfortunately, this may not happen.  While you are at the screaming it from the roof top stage, your parents, siblings and extended family may be at the “Slow down and consider your options” stage or the “Are you nuts” stage.  Remember that your decision to adopt evolved over time after much researching, soul searching, discussing, and praying.  Unless you’ve shared every step of this journey with them, your family has not had the benefit of this process.  So while it might be nice if they were totally psyched about your adoption, it’s probably unfair to expect them to be at the same place as you.

So what do you do if your family doesn’t share your excitement about your adoption plans?  First, if you think you may get a less than enthusiastic response, consider writing your family a letter telling them of your decision before you talk with them in person.  We chose this approach with my husband’s parents.  They like to think about things and discuss it between themselves before talking with others, so a letter gave them this opportunity.  Also, a letter allowed us to explain our reasons, and set the stage for their response by telling them how excited we were.

If you tell them in person, think about what you want to say and choose your words carefully.  One friend reported that she started the conversation with “I’ve got great news!”  Her parents assumed she was going to tell them she was pregnant, and their initial response at learning of the adoption was less than she had hoped.  They recouped quickly, however, and are now doting grandparents to her two children.

Read more.

No comments:

Post a Comment