Spread the Word About Adoption Learning Partner's Next Webinar

LIVE WEBINAR: International Search & Reunion

It's a Small World After All

Thursday, July 9, 2015
7-8:30pm CDT

 

Do you know families who adopted internationally?

Many parents who built their families through international adoption assumed that the ongoing role of their child's birth family would be limited to non-existent.

But things change. The world changes.

You may know families who are parenting teens or tweens who are now curious about their birth family, and talk about finding them.

Is it even possible for children to find their birth mom who is from somewhere beyond the United States? What are the possible ways to address this curiosity?

Speakers Susan Soonkeum Cox of Holt International and Joy Lieberthal Rho, LCSW and co-founder of I Am Adoptee, discuss the many possibilities and complexities of international search and reunion.

This webinar is co-sponsored with JCICS.

 

Have You Heard About Adoption Parenting Pathways?

Adoption Parenting Pathways is the perfect way for adoptive families to find local resources online.

 

What’s New at ALP?

JUNE FEATURED OFFER

This month, purchase our popular course, "Adopted: The Identity Project" for just $10. While you're there, check out the documentary, "Adoption & Identity Intertwined."

 

       

Questions?
Email Kirby

Join the discussion

'Gotcha Day,' Meeting Your Adopted Child by Michael Hicks

Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/patrick-hicks/gotcha-day-meeting-your-adopted-child_b_7102480.html

By Patrick Hicks

On the eve of his son's adoption from South Korea, one writer looks back on what that night now means

Most parents go to a hospital to meet their child for the first time. My wife and I went to the Omaha airport, and it was there, shortly before midnight, that our internationally-adopted son arrived from South Korea. He was 51 weeks old.

It was a joyful and overwhelming moment for us, but for him, it was obviously terrifying. Who were these people? Where was his foster mother? Why was a stranger holding him and where was he being taken? Everything he knew was gone. Missing. Even now, five years later, if I close my eyes, I can still hear his shrieks of terror.

Read more.

What an Adoptee Wants You to Know About Adoption

Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com

By Madeleine Melcher

Disclaimer: I am but one person with my own experience. Adoptees are human beings, so of course our feelings and experiences vary from black to white to every shade of gray. I cannot and do not speak for everyone, but will always stand up for everyone to have a chance to speak.

When I was a baby, I lived in a car for a time. My birthmother left me behind one day and did not return. I was adopted when I was a little over a year old. Adoption is how I came to be with my family. I know people in supermarkets and school registration lines always seem to have a lot of questions when they see a family that was obviously built through adoption, and I certainly get a lot about mine, so in case you were wondering and because I have shared it with people since I was very young, this is what I want you to know in response to years of questions.

Read more.

Fact: Parents Shape A Child's Brain

Source: http://www.npr.org/blogs/health

Parents do a lot more than make sure a child has food and shelter, researchers say. They play a critical role in brain development.

More than a decade of research on children raised in institutions shows that "neglect is awful for the brain," says Charles Nelson, a professor of pediatrics at Harvard Medical School and Boston Children's Hospital. Without someone who is a reliable source of attention, affection and stimulation, he says, "the wiring of the brain goes awry." The result can be long-term mental and emotional problems.

A lot of what scientists know about parental bonding and the brain comes from studies of children who spent time in Romanian orphanages during the 1980s and 1990s. Children like Izidor Ruckel, who wrote a book about his experiences.

Read more.

A Hard And Lonely Road, Not To Be Forgotten.

What an excellent article! It is a hard read.  Very raw and unvarnished.  It is a truth many families live (and survive too!).  We need to hear a balance of the great and really crappy parts of family building.  It's not fairy tale, it's messy and its life in the trenches sometimes.   What are your thoughts? 

Source: http://outofshemind.com/2015/01/dear-adoptive-parents-hard-lonely-road/

Preface: This is not a how-to-parent-older-adopted-kids blog post. This is not a why-kids-of-trauma-inflict-trauma post. This is not even a this-is-what-life-is-like-with-trauma-kids post. This is not a feel-sorry-for-us or toot-our-own-horns post. It’s most definitely not a rainbows and unicorns post. However, I want to stress that—no matter how hard adoption can be or sometimes is, I still believe in it. I’ve got an incredible husband and a slew of kids I call my own who agree. So this is not an anti-adoption post. On the contrary, this is a RALLY CRY for those adoptive parents in the trenches answering the call that others refuse to hear, being judged, shunned, and persecuted for their already very lonely and difficult road. This is a no-holds-barred, bare-it-all solidarity-seeking attempt. This is for you, adoptive parents of trauma kids, because you are most definitely NOT alone.

So I’m sitting here spitting nails. I’ll be honest about that from the get-go. And I’m typing a hundred miles a minute. And probably not going to edit a whole lot. BECAUSE ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. There is not a week that goes by that I do not receive multiple emails, phone calls, Facebook messages, or texts either from someone currently in the trenches or someone who knows someone who is. They’re at their wit’s end. They can’t take much more. They’re lonely. Grieved. And scared. And while I could spend forever trying to explain to those NOT in the trenches what it’s like down in the trenches, I’m not going to waste my time. Because the truth is, as you all know, that unless you have lived it, you will probably never get it. You just won’t. Oh, how we parents of trauma kids wish that weren’t so.

And if you’re reading this because your friend or family member passed it along, now’s your chance to erase your presumptions and shred your judgments and just take a listen and try to understand.

But if you’re reading this and already nodding, I’m trusting that you already get it. That you know what it’s like to step out of your comfortable American Christianity and choose one of the unwanted ones. The older, “broken” kids whom no one else said YES to. You know what it’s like to have that kind of compassion, faith, and willingness, that open heart and open home, that open-to-come-what-may. You know what it’s like to love the unlovable. To say yes to a call from God that no one else wants to hear or acknowledge. To take in a child of trauma. And you know what it’s like to be hated—and all but destroyed—by that child in return.

Read more.

Six Things My Adoptive Parents Did Right

Source: http://www.today.com/parents/6-things-my-adoptive-parents-did-right-1D80311473

By Lisa Cleary

To all of the parents out there thinking about adoption or in the midst of raising a child, this is for you.

More than 30 years ago, my parents decided to adopt after several unsuccessful attempts to have a third child. I use the loose term “adoptive” parents in that my parents adopted me, but they are just my parents – my real parents, the only ones I have ever known.

In recognition of National Adoption Month, I want to share what my parents did right with my adoption, as well as with navigating the waters of parenthood in general.

Read more.

Your Hopscotch Adoptions Team: Serving All Children, All Families, All Faiths.

See Video.

Sexual Abuse Prior to Placement Webinar

Advice for Adoptive Parents

Wednesday, October 15, 2014
7:00PM Central
Q&A: 8:00PM

It is a terribly sad reality that children adopted internationally or through foster care may have suffered sexual abuse.

Join Mary Jo Bennett as she provides insight to parents on:

• Recognizing signs of past abuse in your child
• How to respond if you suspect or know abuse happened
• Protecting the child you are welcoming home and other children in the home
• How to talk to your child about sexual rules or norms in their new home

Sign up today

Sexual Abuse Prior to Placement Webinar

Advice for Adoptive Parents

Wednesday, October 15, 2014
7:00PM Central
Q&A: 8:00PM

It is a terribly sad reality that children adopted internationally or through foster care may have suffered sexual abuse.

Join Mary Jo Bennett as she provides insight to parents on:

• Recognizing signs of past abuse in your child
• How to respond if you suspect or know abuse happened
• Protecting the child you are welcoming home and other children in the home
• How to talk to your child about sexual rules or norms in their new home

Sign up today

Sexual Abuse Prior to Placement Webinar

Advice for Adoptive Parents

Wednesday, October 15, 2014
7:00PM Central
Q&A: 8:00PM

It is a terribly sad reality that children adopted internationally or through foster care may have suffered sexual abuse.

Join Mary Jo Bennett as she provides insight to parents on:

• Recognizing signs of past abuse in your child
• How to respond if you suspect or know abuse happened
• Protecting the child you are welcoming home and other children in the home
• How to talk to your child about sexual rules or norms in their new home

Sign up today

Adoption Notice: Universal Accreditation Act (UAA)

May 12, 2014

Universal Accreditation Act (UAA):  The Department of State’s Office of Children’s Issues and the Department of Homeland Security’s US Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) will hold UAA Update and Training Sessions for Adoption Service Providers (ASPs) on May 20^th at 2:00 p.m. Eastern Time and for Prospective Adoptive Parents (PAPs) on May 22nd, at 3:30 p.m. Eastern Time.

As announced in our notice of April 11, 2014, the Department and USCIS will provide UAA Update and Training sessions in anticipation of the UAA’s effective date of July 14^th of this year.  Separate UAA Update and Training dates have been set aside for ASPs (May 20^th at 2:00 p.m. Eastern Time) and PAPs (May 22^nd at 3:30 p.m. Eastern Time).  The Council on Accreditation, the national accrediting entity, will also participate in the training to discuss the impact of the UAA on accreditation/approval and what to do if things go wrong with supervised or other providers assisting the primary provider in an intercountry adoption case. 

 

Topics for the UAA Update and Training include: 

• Grandfathering under the UAA;
• Home study requirements;
• UAA and the accreditation regulations;
• What to do when things go wrong with domestic and foreign supervised providers;
• Independent adoptions;
• Primary provider rules;
• What to do if part of the case occurred before the effective date and part after;
• How to work in countries that do not permit U.S. accredited agencies to provide services there; and
• Some country specific guidance. 

We have drawn heavily on the questions submitted by both ASPs and PAPs for these meetings and will invite submission of additional questions during the Update and Training as time permits.   

 

How to Join the Sessions: 

Session for Adoption Service Providers:

Tuesday, May 20, 2014, 2:00 -3:30 p.m., Eastern Time

Dial-in information:  1-888-363-4749, Access code:  6276702#

 

Session for Prospective Adoptive Parents:

Thursday, May 22, 2014, 3:30 -5:00 p.m., Eastern Time

Dial-in information:  1-888-363-4749, Access code:  6276702#

Please join us for these UAA Update and Training Sessions. 

No RSVP required.

If you wouldn’t say it about a boob job . . . (a guide for adoption questions)

Source: http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2014/04/if-you-wouldnt-say-it-about-boob-job.html

Fellow adoptive parent Jesse Butterworth just made this hilarious guide for knowing when and when not to ask questions about adoption, using a boob job as a reference point. I think it works quite nicely.

See video.

Where You Once Called Home

New Webinar!  Tuesday April 1st, 2014 7:00PM CT

April 1st,2014 | 7:00 PM Central | Q&A 8:00 PM

Where You Once Called Home

Insights into Homeland Tours

If you're considering, or planning, a trip to your child's (or your own) birth country, many factors other than just travel influence how the trip goes. 

Hear directly from adopted persons and parents who have taken homeland tours. They will share their personal experiences and feelings from preparation to the lasting impact of the their homeland travels.

To help parents or adopted persons plan their journey, our panel will discuss:

• What is the right age to travel?
• Preparing the adopted person for the experiences and situations they may encounter
• Preparing yourself (as parent, spouse, or friend) to support the adopted person through their feelings while on the trip
• Travel tips
• Finding the right persons to help the adopted person, and other family members, organize and take full advantage of the experiences and memories they bring back home.

Register Here!

Joint Council | (703) 535-8045 | info@jointcouncil.org |
117 South Saint Asaph Street
Alexandria, VA 22314

Insights into Homeland Tours - Webinar April 1st 7pm CT

Webinar Series for Adoptive Families

Insights into Homeland Tours

TUESDAY; April 1; 7:00 PM CT

Where They Once Called Home

If you are thinking about or planning a trip to your child's birth country, there is more to consider than travel.

Learn from adopted people and adoptive parents who have taken that trip. Along with practical advice, they will share their personal experiences and feelings to help you understand the lasting impact a homeland tour may have on your child.

Our panel will discuss:

• Considering the right age to travel
• Preparing your child for the experiences and situations they may encounter
• Preparing yourself to support your child during the journey
• Travel tips and advice on how to organize the experiences and memories to make a lasting impact

    

Questions?
Email Mandi and Shane >

Co-sponsors

Join the discussion

Expert Advice on Your Top 5 Attachment Concerns on Tuesday, February 25 at 7:00p Central Time

February 25, 2014  7:00 PM Central  Q&A: 8:00 PM

Expert Advice on Your Top 5 Attachment Concerns 

Attachment is a process that can take time. Adoption often poses challenges to that process, leaving parents with concerns and questions.

If you're concerned about your child's attachment process with parents, siblings, or peers there are practical steps and ideas you can try at home right away. Or maybe you just want to know what's typical and what's adoption related.

Join Regina Kupecky as she discusses the Top 5 attachment concerns and what to do about them!

Practical ideas for the top 5 concerns she hears from parents including bonding to siblings, parents and peers as well as what's typical and what's not

Expert insights into attachment and attunement

Advice on connecting with your child throughout their development

Register Here!

Joint Council | (703) 535-8045 | info@jointcouncil.org |
117 South Saint Asaph Street
Alexandria, VA 22314

NOTICE: Bulgaria's Ministry of Justice Announces New Guideline Enforcement for USCIS Approval After Expiration

Today the Ministry of Justice informed US adoption service providers of their decision regarding the registered prospective adoptive parents, whose USCIS approval for adoption has expired. Please note that pursuant to Art.29, par.7 of Ordinance No.13/2009, our foundation partners are required to present a new USCIS approval within 30 days following the expiration of the previous one. Otherwise the Ordinance provides for automatic removal from the register.

Until this decision, the Ministry of Justice demonstrated understanding and waited for prospective adoptive families to obtain a new approval and extended time for the prospective adoptive families to obtain a new USCIS approval, after the original approval had expired.  The legal stipulation of 30-day's is now in effect. 

The Ministry of Justice will no longer accept statements from the prospective adoptive families or from the accredited agency representing them. According to the decision the Ministry of Justice will permit up to 60 additional days, ONLY if the prospective adoptive families present documentation issued by USCIS confirming that the prospective adoptive families have initiated the process of obtaining a new USCIS approval. Otherwise the prospective adoptive families will not be provided with an additional deadline and will be removed from the register after the expiration of the 30-day deadline stated in the Ordinance.

New Webinar! Expert Advice on Your Top 5 Attachment Concerns

February 25, 2014 
7:00 PM Central
Q&A: 8:00 PM

Expert Advice on Your Top 5 Attachment Concerns 

Attachment is a process that can take time. Adoption often poses challenges to that process, leaving parents with concerns and questions.

If you're concerned about your child's attachment process with parents, siblings, or peers there are practical steps and ideas you can try at home right away. Or maybe you just want to know what's typical and what's adoption related.

Join Regina Kupecky as she discusses the Top 5 attachment concerns and what to do about them!

Practical ideas for the top 5 concerns she hears from parents including bonding to siblings, parents and peers as well as what's typical and what's not

Expert insights into attachment and attunement

Advice on connecting with your child throughout their development

Register Here!

Joint Council | (703) 535-8045 | info@jointcouncil.org |
117 South Saint Asaph Street
Alexandria, VA 22314

Adoption Alert: Congolese Authorities Confirm the Suspension on Exit Permit Issuances Continues and Advise of Delays in Processing Grandfathered Cases

December 20, 2013

Adoption Alert

Democratic Republic of the Congo

Congolese Authorities Confirm the Suspension on Exit Permit Issuances Continues and Advise of Delays in Processing Grandfathered Cases

On December 19, the Congolese Minister of Justice, Minister of Interior and Security, and the General Direction of Migration (DGM) confirmed to members of the diplomatic corps, including the U.S. Ambassador, that the current suspension on the issuance of exit permits continues.  This announcement confirmed information reported in the Department of State's October 23 adoption alert regarding the suspension of issuance of exit permits to adopted Congolese children seeking to depart the country with their adoptive parents. 

The Ministers announced that even those adoptive families whose cases meet the DGM’s criteria for receiving exit permits during the suspension will experience significant processing delays.  Applications for exit permits for adopted children are facing increased scrutiny following reports of an apparently falsely backdated bordereau letter submitted by a U.S. family.  The DGM reported that a number of additional applications appear to include fraudulently-obtained documentation as well.  The Ministers stressed that adoptive parents “must be patient” as the DGM is reviewing applications thoroughly and cannot predict when exit permits may be issued.

The U.S. Embassy in Kinshasa continues to seek information about why some families whose adoptions were approved by the Ministry of Gender and Family before September 25 have reportedly not been able to submit applications for exit permits.  Adoptive parents are cautioned that the processing delays may impact the DGM’s ability to accept and process additional applications. 

The DGM continues to estimate that the suspension will last a year.  Adoptive families, prospective adoptive families, and adoption service providers are cautioned that the DGM has not committed to processing applications for exit permits within a given timeframe once the suspension ends. 

Reminder of prohibition on adoptions by single parents: 

On December 19, the Minister of Justice, Minister of Interior and Security, and DGM reiterated the October 22 announcement that children adopted by single parents will no longer be eligible for exit permits, unless the adoptions were approved by the Ministry of Gender and Family before September 25.  This prohibition applies to single individuals from all countries and is intended to be permanent.

Please direct questions related to this notice or a specific adoption to the Department of State, Office of Children’s Issues at 1-888-407-4747 within the United States, or 202-501-4444 from outside the United States.  Email inquiries may be directed to AskCI@state.gov.  We will also post new information as it becomes available on www.adoption.state.gov.

A Letter To My Daughter

Source: http://www.faithit.com/this-guy-writes-a-confession-letter-to-his-down-syndrome-daughter-that-will-break-your-heart-in-100-ways/

A painful, and yet uplifting story about father's letter to his daughter with Down syndrome

Read more and see video.

Food and Shelter Do Not Help Children Grow, Parents Do!